𝗗𝗢 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗖𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦

𝗗𝗢 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗖𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦

𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝗛𝗮𝘀 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗨𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗝𝗲𝘀𝘂𝘀 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁

Do you want to enjoy the peace God has given you through our Lord Jesus Christ as a New Creation (born again)?

Then learn not to make people the foundation of your happiness, peace, or fulfilment.

No matter how close you are to people — your parents, uncles, aunties, cousins, nephews, grandparents, siblings, children, friends, colleagues, classmates, church members, husband, wife, stepbrothers and stepsisters, stepfather and stepmother, or neighbours — do not build your happiness around what you expect them to do for you.

Why?

Because when you constantly expect people to behave in a particular way, give you something, appreciate you, support you, or reward you for what you have done for them, you may become frustrated and disappointed when they fail to meet those expectations.

That disappointment can gradually produce anger, bitterness, hatred, wrath, strife, quarrels, and even affect your health.

𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗡𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗺 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁. Rather, I am saying that you should receive people's kindness as a gift and not make it a condition for your happiness.

Appreciate people when they remember you. Be grateful when they support you. Celebrate their kindness, but do not make their inability or unwillingness to help you a reason to lose your peace.

Remember, people are human beings. They have their own limitations, responsibilities, challenges, and priorities.

𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗔𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗘𝗦 𝗗𝗢 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗟 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘

I know that some of you have sacrificed your time, energy, resources, and money for others. You have stood by them when they had nobody. You have supported them through difficult moments, yet when you needed them, they disappointed you.

But let me ask you something: Could it be that some of the pain you are experiencing comes from the expectations you attached to your sacrifices?

You may have expected them to remember you, appreciate you, reciprocate your kindness, or stand by you when you needed them.

When they failed to do so, you felt betrayed.

Learn to do good without making the response of the recipient the condition for your peace.

Galatians 6:9 encourages us not to grow weary in doing good.

However, doing good does not mean allowing people to exploit you. You can love people, forgive them, and still establish healthy boundaries.

𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗨𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗬

I remember when I was working in one of the banks. During an appraisal exercise, my boss gave me a very poor appraisal.

I did not confront him, beg him to increase my marks, or quarrel with him. I humbly signed the appraisal and thanked him.

Why?

Because I understood that my promotion was not ultimately in his hands.

The Lord reminded me in my heart that promotion comes from Him.

Psalm 75:6–7 says that promotion does not come from the east, west, or south, but God is the Judge who puts one down and sets another up.

Less than one month later, another bank invited me for an interview, and I was given the next step in the process. Eventually, I received a promotion before some of my colleagues who had received better appraisals.

My point is not that a poor appraisal will always result in a better opportunity elsewhere. Rather, I had learned not to make my boss's opinion or decision the foundation of my confidence and expectation.

I could remain peaceful because I knew that my future was not limited to one person's decision.

𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗔𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗦

Today, many marriages experience unnecessary tension because husbands and wives have expectations that are not communicated, understood, or fulfilled.

Some people expect their spouses to think, speak, give, and behave exactly as they desire. When those expectations are not met, arguments, resentment, and bitterness begin to develop.

Families also experience serious problems because of expectations. Siblings fall out with one another. Friends become enemies. People who once enjoyed beautiful relationships stop speaking to each other.

Sometimes, the problem is not that people have stopped caring; it is that one person has made the other responsible for fulfilling expectations that were never agreed upon.

Marriage requires love, communication, commitment, consideration, and mutual responsibility. But neither husband nor wife should make the other person the source of their identity, security, or ultimate happiness.

Learn to appreciate one another without making your peace dependent on what the other person does.

𝗠𝗬 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗔𝗟𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗬 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗗

This is why, no matter how difficult things become, I have learned not to make people my ultimate source of help.

I am not saying that I will never ask anyone for assistance. I am saying that I will not make anybody's assistance the foundation of my confidence.

My confidence is in my Lord Jesus Christ.

According to 2 Peter 1:3, His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us.

Ephesians 1:3 also tells us that God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.

The New Creation must learn to live from the consciousness of what Christ has already accomplished, rather than living in constant anxiety over what people may or may not do.

𝗜𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗳𝗶𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲, 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲, 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲, 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.

I can address the matter appropriately, adjust my plans where necessary, and move forward.

𝗔𝗡 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗬'𝗦 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗧𝗬

Two Sundays ago, the landlord's son served Salvation Ground Ministry Int'l with a quit notice, informing us that the property we rented would not be available for renewal after our current tenancy expires on March 31, 2027.

I asked him what the problem was. He told me there was no problem; he simply wanted to use the property.

I humbly received the notice and thanked them for the period we had occupied the property.

I was not angry or quarrelsome. I did not consider the notice an attack on my peace.

Why?

Because I had not made the landlord's willingness to renew our tenancy the foundation of my confidence.

We are grateful for the opportunity we have had to use the property, but we also understand that our ministry is not owned by the landlord. Our trust remains in God as we prepare for the next step.

We can make plans, seek another suitable property, and take the necessary steps without allowing fear or bitterness to control us.

𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗡 𝗧𝗢 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦

Beloved, there is a difference between appreciating people and depending on them as the source of your happiness.

There is a difference between receiving help and making help your expectation.

There is a difference between loving people and allowing their actions to control your emotions.

There is a difference between trusting God and refusing to take responsibility for your own decisions.

You can love people without demanding that they repay every sacrifice you have made for them.

You can give without manipulating people with what you have given.

You can forgive without necessarily restoring the same level of access to your life.

You can receive a promise without making your entire future depend on whether the person fulfils it.

And you can experience challenges without allowing them to turn into bitterness.

Philippians 4:6–7 teaches us not to be anxious about anything, but to bring our requests to God through prayer and thanksgiving. It also speaks of the peace of God guarding our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗜𝗦 𝗧𝗢𝗢 𝗩𝗔𝗟𝗨𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗘 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘.

People may appreciate you today and overlook you tomorrow. They may support you today and become unavailable tomorrow. But your confidence in Christ does not have to change with their behaviour.

Therefore, do good, love people, appreciate kindness, fulfil your responsibilities, ask for help when necessary, and maintain healthy relationships.

But never make people the foundation of your peace.

𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗵. 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁. 𝗕𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗛𝗶𝗺.

𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗧, 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘'𝗦 𝗔𝗕𝗜𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗘𝗘𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦.

— 𝗘𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗔𝗺𝗼𝘀 𝗜𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗮
𝗦𝗮𝗹𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻𝘁'𝗹